Trust is the foundation of any marriage. A part of that trust is building reasonable boundaries that both spouses feel comfortable with. Those boundaries are put there for a reason. They are to protect both spouses in times of weakness. They may be at times inconvenient but when adhered to they can be powerful tools in building strong marriages.
Transparency is a buzz word these days. Everyone is talking about how people need to be more transparent. Nowhere is this more true than in our online activities. Here are some tips to incorporating more transparency in your marriage in relation to what you do online.
- Accessibility: my wife and I know each others passwords for all accounts and are free at any time to log in and browse what each other is doing. This is not a matter of policing each other but simply to keep all the doors open so that nothing is hidden or even perceived as hidden.
- Visibility: taking your devices into private areas can give the impression that something secret is going on. Make an effort to be visible at all times. When you are surfing the web, sit next to your spouse so they can see what is going on.
- Openness: Being open with each other takes work and effort on both sides. This means that when temptations and struggles are shared there is a mutual respect and effort to support the other. In many cases openness isn’t possible due to pride and insecurity. If that is the case then it may mean bringing in a third person to help.
- Accountability: This is key to maintaining transparency. An accountability partner who is not your spouse can be there to help deal with the very difficult times, especially failures. Find a person that both spouses trust and respect to keep up with what is going on. This applies to much more than just online activities.
The main point is that we should want healthy and strong marriages. This is one area we can help to keep the lines of communication open and the trust strong.